Why NOW lungs? why NOW?

I wish I was writing a post on how I feel incredible and just finished an 18 mile run. But instead asthma is kicking my ass and taking me down. I'm trying not to feel disappointed in myself but right now I am. I feel like I'm not in control of the situation anymore and I'm angry about it.

I thought I had gotten rid of that nagging cough I had for a few weeks. When we left for vacation I was feeling pretty well. But one week ago my asthma started getting really bad. I wasn't getting short of breath, I just couldn't take a deep breath in. If felt as if someone was pushing back on my chest. Then my voice went. I sound like a boy going through puberty. A few days later the coughing began and it's been getting progressively worse. I was on a round of prednisone with helped a bit and am currently on Bactrim but I know the inevitable outcome of this situation. Another holiday season with IV's.

I'm always somewhat annoyed when I have to go on them but this time I am really angry. I have been so compliant and have been running my ass off and still. Not only that, but why NOW? Why with just a month until Marathon time does this have to happen? If I go on them now there is no way I'll be able to get back into running shape by Nov 7th. So I'm leaning to start them after the race. I just hope I can hang in there that long. Goal now is to get this asthma under control so I can start running again and hopefully the Bactrim can hold off the exacerbation from getting too bad.

Which brings me to this morning. My 18 mile run was cut in half. I ran 3 miles to start but my chest started getting tight even after albuterol. I didn't want to stop so I power walked until I hit 9 miles. The tightness never went away and I didn't want to push it so I stoped.

I don't have a car tomorrow so I'm stuck at home. I'll probably do an hour of the elliptical while the boys nap. And a call into clinic tomorrow is due. Hopefully I'll have a good report to write by Wednesday.